Washed Ashore: 3/20/11

Saturday, March 26, 2011

perfection?

I should not have such a hard time with this, but I confess that I do. I keep writing the main male character in my novel with too much kindness, too much consideration, nearly no human flaws or frustrations.

The poor man was nearly killed at the beginning of the novel, suffered broken ribs and a nasty case of pneumonia, and then is stuck inside a wealthy man's house completely dependent on others. Even a good man would get restless, tired and testy. But I am not letting him show his humanity, his vulnerabilities ... I need to make sure that when I show that he accepts his bad fortune, he is not a weakling, but a stronger man for it. Also, he needs to be allowed (by his biographer) to show that his restlessness does not mean he is ungrateful, but that he may (like anyone) appear ungrateful while struggling with his dependency.

I hope I can do him justice.

Excerpt from Washed Ashore

The tide pulled in and out, washing over his body, but edging out further each time it returned. It seemed like a jealous lover, trying to let go, but returning compulsively, unable to release its prey. Could he feel the cold sweeping over his body, the salt stinging his skin? Could he hear her whispering goodbyes as her foam receded over him?
He lay in a small pool, made by the indention of his body, his clothing soaked, but drying where the sun and wind could touch it. The brown sugar sand cradled him as he slept on, dreaming dreams the sea had given; dreams the sea had taken. He slept as the sun rose, casting a shadow across half of him, as a large boulder sat at his right. Children played nearby; unaware of his existence until a bird found him and they found the bird.
Peter stared silently, which was unusual. His pink mouth, in which a few teeth were missing, lay slightly open. He typically had a great deal to say, and more to do, and so stillness and silence was quite foreign to him. He stood motionless, his dark blonde hair ruffled by the breeze. His sister, Prudence, had less composure and shrieked appropriately, calling the poor man to the attention of their guardian and protector, Aunt Nora. She had much experience with Prudence's fancies, but she also knew to come quickly and evaluate for herself before dismissing any particular incident as exaggeration. The dark man lying on their beach was no exaggeration, and certainly caused Nora no small amount of worry. She sent the children away quickly so that she might ascertain his health, but soon discovered to her relief that he was well, only in need of reviving, something she knew not how to do, despite her late mother's many fainting fits.
Once assured that he was breathing properly, she found herself staring at his dark lashes curling his olive-toned skin. His lips were thick, but chapped and nearly blended in with the color of his face. He might look boyish with his dark hair thick and curling, but for his weathered skin and the bristle that covered the lower half of his face.
He lay on his back, his dirty shirt ripped over his chest, but Nora took comfort in watching his chest rise and fall. She knew she could not simply leave him here, as a good Christian woman, she must help him to safety, but she did not want to get too close, did not wish to get entangled in the mystery she felt instinctively envelop him. This was not just a stray seaman; he was not from these parts. One hundred or more questions attempted to break through her reverie as she allowed herself one more moment to stare, but then she stopped herself and knelt down to brush his face with her hand, stating simply, "Sir, may I help you? You're on my shore."

Washed Ashore

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Saturday, March 26, 2011

perfection?

Excerpt from Washed Ashore